Today is 31st of Dec 2009. We all are eager to welcome the new year 2010. I am very excited about the new year, as I hope it will bring me a good and interesting job.

But today I am writing this entry to review the past year 2009. 2009 started off with a party at Radhika Tai’s place in Portland and academically with the last semester in sight leading to completion of my degree. My last semester at the University was most fulfilling and enriching for me from the educational perspective. I loved the course Machine Learning and my research work turned out fine. I have been since hooked on with various machine learning algorithms and their applications to the real world problems. Personally, not everything went as planned but I would not talk too much about it here. Job hunt in the past year has been a rough one, my work as a RA at the Univ has been fun. I had to take a break in last few weeks due to an important function at home and return to India.

I hope next year will bring some zing in the markets and will bring cheer to the faces of people around the world. May the next year bring peace and harmony to the man kind. May we fight less and live more! Lets hope next year will be healthier for all of us…

May next year  be happy and prosperous one for everyone.

(WEIRD THOUGHTS ALERT: Some of these thoughts may offend you, hurt you or leave you with no reason to follow certain sects… reader discretion advised.)

This all started as a discussion with Archis Gore a friend of mine, we discussing some issues about human beings and how we follow religion and stuff. It got me started with the thought process to think and understand why did all of this come up? What must have been a purpose of such set of rules that we follow today? Rules that lead to the violence that might lead to the elimination of the entire human race?

Lets think about the time when man did not have any of these rules? Did we even have one such time? Probably we did. This all did not come form the blue, at least it does not look like. If we try to reason every rule that exits we can find at least one reason that must have been good enough to put the rule in place at that point in time. So, what was the purpose of this much hyped about species called HUMAN BEINGS or HOMOSPIENS? What did we do then? An answer that comes to mind looking at today’s world is probably reproduce and reproduce and reproduce even more…

I know it is kind of gross to think of our ancestors without brains, knowledge and act like animals. But well I am sure there must have been times like those, when we did not fight each other based on religion or may be then we did not fight at all. I think humans went through a phase on this planet when there was a tranquil and peace and then they started loosing their edge for survival, the sharpness of body and brain. It was at this point to save the human race from extinction and to improve the chances of survival we learned from the beings around us. We learned two most important things to humans, fear and anger. The two contrasting but potentially very basic instincts for survival. Then with these two came the feeling of intimidation. To award the intimidator for the being one he was awarded with some reward, something that he / she wanted. The award must have been the most vaunted thing at time. (Make a guess for yourself…) Now we come to a very interesting phase, the phase of competition amongst humans. If one thinks carefully even today this is the most important aspect of our race that keeps us way ahead of other species (at least to the best of our knowledge). That keeps us competing with each other for superiority, for the reward. The reward changed with time, I guess but aim to keep our species competitive remains still intact.

Now come to think of religion, why did we need to believe in something that is beyond humans? One reason could be we had not yet found the answer to the most mysterious question or death. Then, also to keep the ever growing power of these intimidators in check we had to believe in some super power that was beyond the comprehension of the common people. Now to avoid people claiming the closeness to the almighty and to give an identity to the community to distinguish them from the others outside we needed certain rules to be followed by the members of the community. Basically to bring order to otherwise orderless bunch of competing humans these rules were set. It was an attempt to make the race to the top of intimidators “interesting” and most coveted,  these rules were devised. The groups became jingoistic about their own rules and then started competing with others who followed other rules or did not follow any. As the number grew the stature of the almighty grew and those intimidators who revered them also grew in stature. I think these must have been the basics of our civil society as we see it today.

Now lets mix the above two things staying competitive and then following a set of rules. What we see is the so called unruly set of humans who have more rules to follow than their own populations. Who live their entire life for the simple purpose of keeping human race competitive by “improving their skills”, reproducing, teaching their off springs the same line of thoughts that they learned from their parents  and following those set of rules that they think will help them ahead of the rest of the creatures on this planet.

We are walking the path that our ancestors laid down for us as per the best of their knowledge at that time. You don’t believe me? Think about it with a cool head. Half the wars in this world are because we wanted to be superior than others, rest are due to the set rules that we follow and want others to agree that they are the best and follow them(again competition) and where are we headed? Towards a war where we will destroy each other because we want to prove to each other that we are the best. Oh! and we forgot it was for the survival of the human race. This surely is a contradiction and as would be in mathematics we would say our assumption was wrong. Can we prove something here? Yes the purpose of of human race as of now seems to be to destroy itself and they are heading very quickly towards it.

This must have been really absurd or totally crap or absolute truth for you… in any case I would like to hear back from you. Share your thoughts…

PS: These are my thoughts and I am solely responsible for them.

I happen to Read this article on Indiatimes.com about the Pune traffic condition and it made to the front page international edition for something quite interesting. This techie apparently beat up a cop, and now instead of putting him through the court case and stuff the commissioner of police has made him work with the same cop on the job that the cop was doing, MAN A TRAFFIC SIGNAL IN PUNE. Guys believe me it is as tough as watching the Indian borders for infiltrators from across the border. It is in the hope that the techie will realize how difficult it is to manage the traffic and then also may be have some sympathy towards the police men who work extremely hard towards managing the ever unmanageable Pune traffic.

Kudos to the cops for finding this innovative way of teaching lesson, it is the fact that lack of understanding and apppreciation of eachothers job is something that lands most of us in quarrels and arguments with other, which at times can be avoided by having this simple knowledge. BUT, Will the police send their men to a techie’s cube to sit with him and see what kind of pressure he handles, if in some (most?) cases cop is wrong? We shall see… for now it it is a good initiative.

Today it is not just one or few cities in India whose residents wake up worried will they see their family again? It is the whole country! Why? Did you just come form Jupiter? or You live in America? If so I would not say anything… than just read a few news papers. I do not want to drool over how ignorant American society is of the rest of world, it is a matter for some other day.

Today Indians are bleeding because the problems which we always thought were caused form outside are now being spread at will by the insiders. Yes lets accept it that, it is not any foreign country thats behind this kind of an attack but rather they are some radical sects of our own society that are doing this In-Humane act of killing innocents and trying to make their presence felt right across the country be it Eastern region of Tripura or Western city of Gujrat or the Southern City of Banglore or the Capitol Delhi. They are just planting them like crackers and exploding them at will. While I am writing it, I do not know who of those jerks is making a bomb. But more importantly what are we going to do about this situation?Are we going to look at a particular community as the people who did this? Is it really fare? Did the good neighbour that you have do it? Probably No, it is some jerks who have sought the wrong path for themselves who need to be brought on the right track. They probably have no religion, because religion is for human development and not destruction. Anyway, the point is we as a society need to rip such problems that have sneaked in to our society. To do this, we need to stand together in Unision.

I know people will say “sitting in the US it is easy to talk like this”. My only point is this did not start after I came back to USA it was even when I was in India. So the point is these Indian Mujahiddins need to understand that they are doing no good to themselves by terrorizing people, the anger of people might get them some time and that time no law will be enough to save them. Dont let the movie A Wednesday come in to a reality! The day that happens things will be quite different for the mujahiddins, it will be a no point of return.

If I have seen any sensible movie in past some time that just means business or relates the most ot inner me that is “A Wednesday”. Acting is top class. Performances by Anupam Kher and Nasruddin Shah are just fitting for the situation and their reputation. No songs and stuff, this movie means bussiness, it is a thriller so it does grips the person.The use of day to day language was something I thought was good. Also the concept and the twist at the end was awesome, great direction andnice cinematograph.

Over all a awesome movie, 10/10. A must watch!

I am blogging after ages… feels good.

Cant those crazy ba**** see, if you get the North, South, East, West out of there it says INDIANS!!! What the heck is going on? Cant the jokers in political circles see that it is creating the problem that we might have to live with for ages to come, or are they busy reaping the benefits by _Criticising in Media_???

Guys, break the ice, and get down to table, beating people up will not solve the issue. If there exists any problems then sit across the table and talk. Sticks and Guns are no good. If you retaliate now, they will retaliate later and then again you will get your vengeance back.. it is a cycle  which will be broken only with someone’s sacrifice,  lets make one now, someone has to make it. Please don’t divide India based on North, South, East, West, it is a land of unity lets keep it that way.

It is important that we leave the swords and take things objectively… I hope people back home in Mumbai and other parts of Maharashtra  understand this, it is important. If you have problems and people are not listening then we have got other means of getting it done.

With a population of 1.2 Billion we have a danger of an violence outbreak every other day thats not good. We need stability to turn India in to a golden eagle again, and these things can’t get one thing and that is stability. Hope that some joker’s Sena understands this. or are they really bothered? May be just that they want is popularity of their new party…

With a deeper thought I feel these three words are so entangled in to each other. Change in Priorities for some reason increases expectation from them, and increased expectation increase the chance of disappointments. This is so simple yet so complicated. We as humans change our priorities for others at some point in time and expect something in return (not as an return favour necessarily), and often are disappointed not to see that same change in priorities reciprocated or even other expectation which are not met with. Of which the other person is not even aware of. How appropriate is it to have these expectations? or for that matter lets address the root cause, how appropriate is it to shift your priorities? Well another angle to it, does the person in front know you made the change for them? If yes and then did not reciprocate, you learned you lesson and move on. but if they dont know then, how fare is it to them, for you to be angry with them?

Well thats a rather complicated set of questions. With no answer! As human you will make changes to your priorities (for various reasons I would like to keep out of this discussion), and then have an expectation of reciprocation from the other person, failing which (knowingly or unknowingly) you will hold grudges against them. Now if taken from the other person’s perspective it is unfair on them, but if seen from your perspective it is not all that wrong. So is the perspective a problem? Well another question with no clear answer. There can not be one suits all solution to all these things we have talked about, for they are so much dependent on the perspective from which you look at it.

Every one will have different perspective about you and others. It is that perspective that they use to look at you and set priorities for you in their life, so you have no control over it, and why scratch your brain on something that is out of your control…

Moral of the story is: Life is hard, Mintrox!!! …

Well nothing much to say about the title, is it not that most of us have our priorities set when it comes to people around us? Well we do, most of us have it set, some might suit us and not the rest! We despite of knowing this about the people around us end up  having expectation from them towards us, I am today just wondering how worthy is it?

Is it good to really have expectations from others? Some might say no, and in normal conditions I would have argued the same, but today I don’t know. I feel that may be my expectations are not that invalid, for once I wanted to have some attention, some priority, well life says “no that is not to be the case for now”, well then so be the case.

May be for some other time but I guess I need to learn this lesson soon. I know the philosophy  that expectations lead to disappointment and all that but today I refuse to accept it. Why is it so? I dont know. I am not sure if I am in any mind frame to understand that.

For once I feel sad to have turned and twisted priorities in my life to follow something I felt was real but it now looks like it is a mirage. Well do I have the right to feel this way? Was it a requested change or was it my own volunteering that I did it? Well I did it, with out anyone asking for it, so it is my fault!! I guess… Anyway learn a lesson and keep moving…

Guys on the reader’s list chill nothing much had a rough day!

This is the discussion that “me” is having with “myself”, about what? Obviously the right now missing component of the name Irene. Well two have had heated exchanges earlier over this and this is one more of those…

MySelf is denoted by MS and Me is denoted by ME.

MS: So what are you thinking? and now dont tell me Irene… I am sick of those discussions.

ME: Oh, really? I thought you were the most interesting discussion partner I “never wanted“!! and YES I am thinking of Irene!!

MS: Yeah, probably thats why we have had 6 years long of discussion on this topic… anyway, I don’t mind recounting your follies as it helps me kill my time… phew!! 8-)…

ME: My follies? excuse me, are you someone different? Oh yeah may be… To me Irene means a lot…

MS: Oh! does she? thats why probably she is not around yet!! …

ME: Well She might well be reading this…

MS: Oh! I am sure she has better jobs to do in life…

ME: and I am sure she is doing one of them by reading this… …

MS: Well if so, then answer me a few questions, which will help me make sure she does not read it again!

ME: If my Irene ever reads it, she would not be distracted by your stupid, but at times intriguing (I must admit) questions… anyway go on, I will see if you have somethiing interesting this time.

MS: What do you look for in the person?

ME: Oh! Not again… ok I will try and answer it for you again, A _*Girl*_, simple in her nature, intellectual (no empty nut cases please!!), should have some conviction for her life, should be able to understand that whatever good I am is coz of my parents and respect them as I would respect hers and whatever bad I am, I am myself to be blamed for it. And should be a cute, adorable person…

MS: Hold it!! Hoild it! HOLD IT!!! Did I forget to mention NO ESSAYS PLEASE? If so here it is!!

ME: Well I knew your next questions, out of experience!! so just put the answer there…

MS: Oh I see, good observation I must say! Lets get on with the questions, I must help Irene get away. So what about her education? You yourself seem to have idiotic plans for next 5 years, why do you want to spoil her life?

ME: Well, if she thinks that way she is not my Irene. But well before she turns her face I just want to say it is not as bad as you put it, I plan to take my PhD after my MS in US and then plan to head back to India! May be work for a year to recuperate some finances and head back to India!

MS: Did I not say Idiotic? Now I must add stupid! People die to come all the way to US the land of opportunities and you are thinking of getting in to the corrupt mother land India. A big fool I woud say!!

ME: Did you say mother land? You answered my question. I plan to go back to my motherland! It might well be corrupt right now, but I stand here to change it… but anyway why should I explain to someone who will keep cribbing about India… Next question…

MS: Yeah whatever… What should Irene do while you just to satiate your ego complete (I hope you will!) your so called PhD from some place?

ME: Man you are nuts… Given her qualities above, I am not bothered about that, coz I am sure she will have an option. The simplest to me is Just plain take up a degree course and complete any dream she might have had to study abroad. I have no issues with it and one more thing I wanted to add at which point you interrupted me, she is a free individual and I would respect her to have her own space in her life and her privacy…

MS: Ahh! there the male farce comes! Independence before marriage and “ghari ki ladaki / Biwi / Maid??” afterwards…

ME: Your tiny brain can not assimilate this… forget it… She will have her space all through her life is what I meant, but why am I explaining you, Irene will know what am I saying. Next question…

MS: What if she happens to be a management oriented girl?

ME: So? Are they not human? I do not hate managers for the people they are, I just at times become critical of my own managers coz I think they act coward! But I do understand they are just doing there job… I am a techie at heart but I know what management is… I do adore Chanakya, I know what “Manage” + “Men” + “Tactfully” = ManageMenT means! Anyway, she should just be a complementing person… thats what I mean…

MS: Oh! Yes baring you for your shortest or tiniest or Minutest temper ever seen on this planet!!!

ME: Well it is not all that bad, yeah I am short tempered but I know how to and where to control myself… I do follow certain principles even under worst situations! Just that I am a man of my own principles and I do understand that she might have different principles, I just hope we do not differ too much with our principles.

MS: Thats being hypocrite! A human is ought to have some different principles.

ME: Well I did not say exactly matching to mine I said “similar” or a worst “not very different” principles. Just that we should be able to accept each other as we are…

MS: What if she wants to just stay at home and pass her time?

ME: Then why marry me? thats probably what I am not meant for…

MS: Yeah you are one nut case who never lets life realize the word “settle” where as people crave for it. Your MS is one example of that.

ME: I chase my dreams. I love doing it, I would love to see a person with similar zeal for whatever it be in her own life as a life partner. And if chasing dreams is what they call un-settling life then yes I do it quite often. I live for thrills in life, I can not live a dull life with that “Settled” feeling. I would rather die than have that feeling. I believe if one gets the saturated feeling he begins to fall down. It is only until one can have that crave to better the past that one lives happily……

MS: Aye! Hello! HEllo!!! Philosopher, class later, I am getting bored… move on… What do you think you will get one like this?

ME: Well may be Irene knows it… What say Irene?

Well ME decides to just part for now… he is ready for answers and Irene, is just waiting for signal from her I guess… Lets see…

Well as the gentleman at the ring said, Ice Skating and Skiing are a part of life for a Minnesotan, I decided to take a peek at it. Ok let me admit it was not this flimy! Today we all from International club went ice skating and believe me it was fun. There we met this gentleman Neel (I believe was his name), and a kind lady Kay, who taught me my first lessons of ice Skating. Today I was trying to balance myself on my legs. It was difficult, and I was in a awe to believe that, I can not balance myself on my OWN LEGS!!! and then there was a realization, I had those skates under them.

Today I felt like probably how a baby would feel when he / she is trying to stand on their own feet. It was an experience of my life and just told me that I could do it, just needs practice. And then I saw kids not more than 3 years of age doing that far better than me. I mean I am a bloody 6 feet tall guy with two strong enough legs trying to stand on those skates and those little kids they were just fabulous. one of them was even doing figure skating and doing some cool maneuvers. it just told me the same lesson again IT NEEDS PRACTICE!

I did fell a few times and one was while posing for a camera, which I kind of hate coz that just got me an fall on my account, not that anyone was counting but just for my own pride. …

Well I must say it is a good experience and I am sure I will try it again…